Ariana & the Hollywood Problem with Self-Respect

I recently watched a video that promised to show me all of Ariana Grande’s shadiest/most diva moments ever. For those of you who don’t know, Ari is frequently accused of being a diva or being difficult to work with. Now I happen to be a fairly big Ariana fan and have never really understood the diva hype. So I sat there for 10 minutes and watched footage from red carpets and interviews, listened to rumor patrols and you know what? I didn’t see a diva, per say. Not in the way I expected to. I saw mostly a woman who was balking against society’s expectations for female celebrities.

When talk show hosts pried into her personal life, she got annoyed and yes, gave some push back. When photographers took pictures of her, especially from an unfavorable side, she asked to see the picture and to have it deleted if it was unflattering. When interviewers asked her sexist questions, she called them on it.

Why is it that women in the media are supposed to mostly sit still and look pretty? Why are they not allowed to have a say in whether or not they want a bad picture of ourselves broadcast to the whole world?

As someone who takes pictures of her friends fairly often, I am more than used to having to get pictures approved by the girl in them before they’re posted. I don’t consider that unusual or “diva” behavior. It happens all the time. I also know how it feels to have someone else post an unflattering picture of you. It makes you feel ugly and usually imaging how many people have already seen it only makes you feel worse.

Why aren’t women in the media allowed to have a say in how much of their personal lives they have to share with millions of people? Why can’t they be offended when someone asks them to choose between makeup or their cellphone, as if that is the toughest choice a girl has to face on a daily basis? Also the constant questions about boys and high heels? Yeah, I feel you, Ari. I’m over it too. And she’s not the only one. The Disney Channel show¬†Liv and Maddie ran an entire episode about sexist interview questions for female celebrities. (I’ve included a clip below for your viewing pleasure)

Now I get that there is a certain level of professionalism required when you are a public figure. I get that Ariana certainly slips up sometimes (er… donuts, anyone?) and may be a little too demanding (sometimes we all have to be filmed on our bad side, girl), but why does demanding respect and control over one’s public image automatically label a woman a diva?